Tick...Tock...

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year? 

These are lines from a famous song from RENT, a musical I love. Such an admission will probably alienate half of the folks that read this blog, but it’s true nonetheless.  Though the story is admittedly a bit dark, I think it is a beautiful portrayal of community, love and acceptance.

The song goes on to list the many ways we might measure our time…

In daylights – in sunsets

In midnights – in cups of coffee

In inches – in miles

In laughter – in strife

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

in truth that she learned

or in times that he cried

in bridges he burned

or the way that she died

At the end of our lives, how will we decide or will others decide, how well we did on our journey? After the questions and wondering, the songwriter concludes that maybe there is a better measure of our lives. 

How about love?

Of course as a Christian, I am sold out to the idea that this is definitively the way we should evaluate our lives. Remember that when Jesus was questioned about what the greatest thing is, he said, “Love God and love others”.

In RENT. a small group of artists clung to each other like their life depended on it…because it did. They offered each other grace, and unconditional acceptance. They loved without judgment because they recognized what many of us in the church have yet to realize – we need each other desperately.

January is almost gone and I am guessing many of us have already abandoned our New Year’s resolutions. So why not make a new one? Why not resolve to love more and better in 2011?

Why not set a real goal, an eternal goal to measure our time in LOVE. What would it mean id if love became the rubric by which we really measured our lives? 

Confessions of a White Girl

I have to admit that for most of my life, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was nothing more to me than a vague historical figure, and his birthday only a reason to have a day off of work. I was only eight years old when Dr King was assassinated, so I heard about him my whole life. Unfortunately, his message was part of the cultural noise that became the background of my life - always there, but nothing I paid much attention to. Even being able to quote snippets of his speech didn’t give me a real insight into his message.

Such is the way of ignorance.

As an adult, I learned to appreciate the importance of his work, but there was still a disconnect from MY life. Talk of injustice and the need for protest meant little to me. I have written before about the white, middle class, suburban Christian bubble that - for most of my life - insulated me from the reality of 99% of the planet. I somehow constructed a worldview and theology that rested heavily on a foundation of cause and effect, which basically means that people create their own luck. While there is certainly a grain of truth to this idea, it wrongly suggests that all misfortune can be traced to something the individual did wrong. This results in little compassion for those that struggle and little motivation to change the status quo. At one point in time, everything in my life was filtered through that lens: relationships, gender issues, economics, religion and justice. I believe strongly in personal responsibility, but no longer buy the idea that doing the right thing always brings the right result. Some people...

• Work hard and still lose their homes
• Love God and get sick
• Invest in relationships and them watch them dissolve
• Diligently teach and love their children, only to have them do stupid things
• Are careful and conscientious and still become the victims of crime

Injustice happens.

Coming to grips with this has helped me to appreciate what King was saying and fighting for. As I have become increasingly interested in justice issues over the last few years, I have discovered the writings of King. Through his numerous speeches, sermons and essay, I have become captivated by his vision, his eloquence and his courage.

During my head-in-the-sand days, I honestly didn’t get that King’s work was about ALL of us and that we ignore injustice at our own peril. Today, I am not quite so unaware. Regardless of the political waves you ride, injustice is not a black issue, a woman’s issue or a victim’s issue. Injustice is a human issue...and concerns us all:

• The fact that little girls are being sold as sex slaves...ALL of our problem
• Children living without food, clean water or vaccinations...all of our problem
• Women being brutalized by the men in their lives...all of our problem
• The treatment of illegal immigrants...all of our problem
• Discrimination because of race, gender or age...all of our problem

As a Christian, I particularly appreciate Dr. King’s view that his work with civil rights was part of his ministry and a natural outcome of the Gospel. During a 1967 sermon, he said that:

"...any religion that professes to be concerned about the souls of men and is not concerned about the slums that cripple the souls—the economic conditions that stagnate the soul and the city governments that may damn the soul—is a dry, dead, do-nothing religion”. full text here

There are many things I could say about Dr. King’s influence and the way our world is different because of him. But personally, Dr. King’s life and work is a reminder to not get so wrapped up in my own pursuits that I ignore what is happening around me. He also encourages me to not shake my head in a way that merely acknowledges others’ pain at a distance, but to engage it. Reminds me of some other famous words:

    "Learn to do good. 

Work for justice.

   Help the down-and-out.

Stand up for the homeless.

    Go to bat for the defenseless." Isaiah 1:17 (MSG)

Listening for Direction

di·rec·tion [dɪˈrekʃ(ə)n] noun : 

     1.  the general development or progress of    

          something or someone

     2.  the feeling of having a definite purpose

     3.  instructions for doing something or getting 

          to a place

I have often commented that I wish I had five lives to live. There are just so many things I want to do! But how do any of us decide which way to go? I am so aware that I will never be able to do everything, but by choosing a path means I am saying no to something else. And, I really HATE to miss out on anything! If I think too hard on such things, it paralyzes me, and I run the risk of doing nothing at all.

Often when looking for direction, we are searching for practical answers or solutions or answers to concrete situations.  I am right there. I know that change is in the air for me and that I will be looking for some concrete answers in the coming months. But for right now, I think seeking direction is mostly about paying close attention…by listening to what is inside me and honoring what I believe to be true.

Listening isn’t always easy. We become accustomed to the noise and easily tune out things that are practically yelling at us. I live right in the middle of the fourth largest city in the country…and I loooove it. I especially enjoy the sounds. There is just something about the noise of the city that is comforting; the train that whistles every morning at 4am and the church bells that chime twice a day. Unfortunately, I have heard these things for several years now and barely notice them. It is rare that the train wakes me anymore or that the bells charm me. I have simply stopped listening. Usually it takes a visitor who comments on them to bring me back to the reality of their presence in my life.

In 2011, I want to listen closer…to God in me; to the wisdom that has been deposited there and in those around me. I want to feel deeper…by being fully present in the moments of my life and feeling it all. I don’t want to stuff what is really going on inside of me. I have spent a great deal of time in the last few years questioning and searching and want to have the courage to express all that I believe to be true.

And finally, I want to love more…and better, which may be the biggest challenge of all. To truly know how others need to be loved, (not just how I want them to treat me or how I want to feel), requires the greatest ability to listen, watch and pay attention.

My favorite sound in the neighborhood is the guy a few doors down who plays the sax. On random evenings, he will sit on his front porch and wail some wonderful jazz. The boy is good. I have never met this man, but every time I hear a note, I swing my door open and have a little listen. This coming year, I hope to respond to the important voices in my life the way I respond when I hear this man begin to blow...always noticing, always paying attention and always glad I did.

Experiencing God in the Moments of Our Lives

What does it mean to experience God? Every church culture has their preferred answer to that question, and I have been around long enough to have seen it all. While I certainly acknowledge that God can do whatever he wants, I am concerned that our tendency is to confuse experiencing God with amusing ourselves. I fear that we seek the thrill of God like he is the latest amusement park ride or bungee jump.

Must ecstasy be necessary to validate a God encounter? What about the small, the subtle, the profound…or the ordinary? Have we been conditioned to believe that goose bumps are the ultimate symptom of an authentic encounter with God? Damn, I hope not  - because I can get goosebumpy from hearing my daughter, Carlee, sing the national anthem :)

What if God is in the ordinary and we miss it because we are looking for the big and flashy? What if he is right there at the Little League game, at the homeless shelter, when you are making love to your wife, holding the hand of a friend, or noticing the green in the spring leaves?

Experiencing God isn’t just about having a feeling – as wonderful as that might be. It's about relationship…you know, that messy stuff that encompasses the good, the bad, the attractive and the ugly. God wants us to experience him in the moments of our lives and to respond with questions, the frustrations, the wonder and the awe that really come out of our experiences.

How do we cultivate an existence where experiencing God is a lifestyle? My hunch is that it is primarily about awareness…looking around and taking the time to notice. How different might things be if I viewed every situation of my life as an opportunity to encounter God in some way, which turns into a reason for relationship? Maybe the experience of the ordinary would be sweeter and the pain of the struggles would not be so lonely. 

Been Dumpster Diving Lately?

So...why is it that we gravitate towards what is not good for us? Why do we insist on foraging for pleasure so desperately that we will even ignore the long-term results of our actions? 

It amazes me every time!

I am just like you…I want to feel good. I want to be comfortable, accepted, whole, affirmed, filled and loved. And sometimes, I grab whatever is in reach to dull the ache of longing. It’s like dumpster diving in the back of an alley while on our way to an amazing feast. We settle for less that we desire and then have no appetite for what will be immensely more satisfying (an amazing analogy that I can't take credit for). Unfortunately we consistently choose instant gratification – a piece of cake...a little lie...a hidden drink...an angry word…an elicit relationship - over what is ultimately best for us.

Currently, I am reeling a bit from this very thing - having contented myself with less than G-d wants for me in a certain area of life. And while I would like to say that I have learned a valuable lesson, I don’t really believe this is all about G-d teaching me a lesson. To walk by faith and to leap into the fog means we will make some stupid mistakes along the way. And the cool thing is that I am convinced it is all okay with G-d. In fact, I think he wants it that way. His grace abounds because he knows that we are feeling our way along and only see in part. And, ultimately, it is about knowing him better.

“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely” – I Cor 13:12 (NLT).

He is immensely pleased to walk with us and share in ALL the moments of our lives and to propel us into deeper relationship with him where we come to learn more about ourselves and more about him.

If there is any lesson here, it is to remember that the one that knows me best and loves me most is always whispering into my heart and when I choose not to listen, then I can’t really be surprised at the results. But in it all...if I press in...I get to learn who he is; why his wisdom is so perfect and his love so great.

And nothing could be better...

Are We On The Right Track?

It is no secret that I love the church-all of it. I think G-d in his brilliance uses conservative, liberal, evangelical, charismatic, liturgical, emergent, missional, seeker-sensitive, house churches and mega churches (and those I left out) to reach the world.

In my little corner of the world, I have settled into a tradition that is closest to my own understanding of how I want to represent Jesus. But even here, I am always rethinking and questioning how we are doing at carrying out our mission.

Actually…I am quite the nerd.

Don’t tell anyone, but I even keep a list of things I hope the church can be...and I add to it regularly. I dream of communities where people co-exist in mission and purpose and love in such a way that the world takes notice.

The following posts contain material I wish I had written. If you are interested in thinking...really thinking...about what it is we are doing as we construct our institutions, you must check these out.

Johnathan Brink posted this video where Darryl Gardine discusses discipleship in a way that may make you very uncomfortable, but I think he is spot on. Jonathan says that, 

"It’s interesting to me that much of conversations on following Jesus have to do with right or wrong, when Jesus was primarily focused on love, and stepping into spaces where people had already gotten it wrong."

 He really presses hard on some points and I probably disagree with some things he says about the church. BUT...I really hear what this guy is saying and wholeheartedly agree that we should be seriously examining our institutions by asking the question, "What did Jesus come to establish?"


In this post, Kathy Escobar challenges the American church to begin living the truth by becoming places that help restore dignity. The post is long, but well worth the read. Check this out:

"i really believe the world doesn’t need another sandwich board church sign on the corner announcing really good coffee & fun for families. the world needs people willing to restore dignity where it’s been lost."

Can I get an amen?

Purpose and Perspective

If someone were to ask you, “What is your life’s purpose”, how would you respond? Can you articulate your core values and what your life is about? Make no mistake…your life will be about something. And, to the end that you get a grip on that, it will affect the way you see everything and your ability to find joy.

I spoke yesterday on that topic and looked in Philippians at the connection between joy, hardship/suffering and purpose. I thought G-d was exhibiting his sense of humor when I realized that, once again, I would be talking on the topic of mission and purpose. I love the topic a little too much, but really…how much can these people listen to me talk about this? But the connection between Paul’s purpose and his perspective on his life was just too great to not share!

Paul’s life was ultimately about one thing….and everything else served that purpose. Because of his clarity, he could endure all manner of crappy circumstances and be joyful. His purpose caused him to have godly perspective and, in the end, all that mattered was that G-d had his way! When we aren’t joyful I think it is because we have lost touch with what our life is about. We get so focused on the minutiae and the minute by minute without looking at the big picture and remembering there is a master architect…and it is his job to make sense of things. Or we don’t really believe that he is in it with us, so we are overcome with fear and doubt

Foundationally our purpose is going to have something to do with the story…the redeeming of humanity back to the Father. I want us to be so convinced of our purpose that we walk into every situation knowing we are “sent ones”. Sent to “shine as stars in the universe” and sent to “hold out the word of life” to people who need it. Oh my, if we really believed that was true, it certainly might bring some perspective into the difficulties of life.

I must admit though…right at this moment….at 6:45am on Monday morning…I don’t feel “sent”. I am struggling with some personal issues and, frankly whining a bit to G-d. So, looking around the coffee shop, I have no clue of what G-d is doing with all these people, and I am not sure I care.

But that’s ok…I know it will pass.

I believe that what I spoke yesterday is true and even when I feel at my worst, most selfish self, G-d always breaks in. Because, fundamentally, it is his deal…its all up to G-d!

“Are you struggling to find joy or to rejoice in what is on your plate? I am confident that he will complete the work he began in you….No matter what the circumstances, the trials, failures or hardships you have had or are continuing to endure...I am confident that G-d is doing an amazing work in you and will complete that work. He won't leave you hanging...he won't leave you confused...he won't leave you disappointed...he is faithful to the end! (Beth's paraphrase of Phil 1:6)

How is that for perspective?

So, as G-d always does, he reminds me of my purpose. I am sent in the moments of my life to help people connect to God…even when I don’t feel like it, and even when I would rather wallow in my own stuff.

Remembering this causes my perspective to change and then the questions change. Instead if whining, “Why am I experiencing this?”,  “When will this end”, or  “Why, G-d?,  I can ask, “What pain is this person in?” and “How does she/he need to encounter G-d?”. Not only do I then see people differently, I can press through fatigue, frustration and inconvenience.

And at the end of the day…I am glad!

Check out the following to get an amazing glimpse of the story!

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